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Funny Quotes

People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Deliberation is the function of many, action is the function of one.
Charles De Gaulle
Comedy is the last refuge of the nonconformist mind.
Edward Albee
We challenge each other to be funnier and smarter.
Annie Gottlieb
To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan you should wear it inside, where it functions best.
Margaret Thatcher
The fundamental error of their matrimonial union that of having based a permanent contract on a temporary feeling.
Thomas Hardy
If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny.
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer
Isn't it funny how whenever we go to a county fair or a state fair, the first thing we do is see if they have some kind of pornography booth
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
John C. Dvorak
If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.
Herodotus
A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.
Bill Vaughan
I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting. (on those behind the 911 attacks)
Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf
Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes.
Lawana Blackwell
The function of a briefing paper is to prevent the ambassador from saying something dreadfully indiscreet. I sometimes think its true object is to prevent the ambassador from saying anything at all.
Kingman Brewster, Jr.
Funny-peculiar or funny-ha-ha
Ian Hay
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