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Humor Quotes

From your parents you learn love and laughter and how to put one foot before the other. But when books are opened you discover that you have wings.
Helen Hayes
There was an immeasurable distance between the quick and the dead they did not seem to belong to the same species and it was strange to think that but a little while before they had spoken and moved and eaten and laughed.
W. Somerset Maugham
It's funny, to me, the way people refer to childbirth as a miraculous event. A miracle is something that defies nature. Only, childbirth has got to be the most natural thing in the world. Top three anyway. But, on the other hand, when you think about it, there's really no other word that fits. Sperm. Egg. A coincidental meshing of genetic information that will grow something that could write an opera or cook up some Napalm. It blows my mind.
Barbara Hall
Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
Douglas Noel Adams
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can all of them make me laugh.
W. H. Auden
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
God writes a lot of comedy the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Isn't it funny how whenever we go to a county fair or a state fair, the first thing we do is see if they have some kind of pornography booth
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.
Vincent Van Gogh
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
e e cummings
There are three things which are real God, human folly, and laughter. The first two are beyond our comprehension. So we must do what we can with the third.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Love is an attachment to another self. Humor is a form of self-detachment -- a way of looking at one's existence, one's misfortune, or one's discomfort. If you really love, if you really know how to laugh, the result is the same you forget yourself.
Claude Roy
The funny thing about stopping is that as soon as you do it, here you are.
Jon Kabit-Zinn
It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it
Eleanor H. Porter
Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.
Herbert Gardner
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