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Funny Quotes

People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
From seeds of his body blossomed the flower that liberated a people and touched the soul of a nation. (Funeral oration for Martin Luther King, Sr.)
Jesse Louis Jackson
Frank I'd known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She'd hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don't recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.
Naked Gun From the Files of Police Squad
To love is not a passive thing. To love is active voice. When I love I do something, I function, I give. I do not love in order that I may be loved back again, but for the creative joy of loving. And every time I do so love I am freed, at least a little, by the outgoing of love, from enslavement to that most intolerable of master, myself.
Bernard Iddings Bell
At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted.
Eric Idle
Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it.
Milan Kundera
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get to that, the funnier you will be.
Jerry Seinfeld
Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity then they really are.
Henry Fielding
Play is a uniquely adaptive act, not subordinate to some other adaptive act, but with a special function of its own in human experience.
Johann Huizinga
Dawson Well, all I'm saying is that I want to look back and say that I did it the best I could while I was stuck in this place. Had as much fun as I could while I was stuck in this place. Played as hard as I could while I was stuck in this place. Dogged as many girls as I could while I was stuck in this place.
Dazed and Confused
Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God-the rest will be given.
Mother Theresa
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Horace Walpole
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
Dave Barry
The most important function of education at any level is to develop the personality of the individual and the significance of his life to himself and to others. This is the basic architecture of a life the rest is ornamentation and decoration of the structure.
Grayson Kirk
The function of the press in society is to inform, but its role in society is to make money.
A. J. Liebling
Procrastination is like a credit card it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
Christopher Parker
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