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Funny Quotes

Reverence for life affords me my fundamental principle of morality.
Albert Schweitzer
Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING
Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.
David Brinkley
To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it, and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward.
Margaret Fairless Barber
Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.
William Feather
Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
Douglas Noel Adams
Comedy is allied to justice.
Aristophenes
Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment. They farm fungi, raise aphids as livestock, launch armies into war, use chemical sprays to alarm and confuse enemies, capture slaves, engage in child labor, exchange information ceaselessly. They do everything but watch television.
Lewis Thomas
To love is not a passive thing. To love is active voice. When I love I do something, I function, I give. I do not love in order that I may be loved back again, but for the creative joy of loving. And every time I do so love I am freed, at least a little, by the outgoing of love, from enslavement to that most intolerable of master, myself.
Bernard Iddings Bell
Only reason can convince us of those three fundamental truths without a recognition of which there can be no effective liberty that what we believe is not necessarily true that what we like is not necessarily good and that all questions are open.
Clive
It is fun to be in the same decade with you.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Where there is no belief in the soul, there is very little drama . . . . Either one is serious about salvation or one is not. And it is well to realize that the maximum amount of seriousness admits the maximum amount of comedy. Only if we are secure in our beliefs can we see the comical side of the universe.
Flannery O'Connor
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Oscar Ameringer
I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers.
Ralph Nader
We find greatest joy, not in getting, but in expressing what we are...Men do not really live for honors or for pay their gladness is not the taking and holding, but in doing, the striving, the building, the living. It is a higher joy to teach than to be taught. It is good to get justice, but better to do it fun to have things but more to make them. The happy man is he who lives the life of love, not for the honors it may bring, but for the life itself.
R. J. Baughan
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
Walt Disney
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